Mom in her early years- from Grandma Douglas

David’s wedding- July 1998

1969

1961

Mom, age 6, with her dad

Mom and Dawn with Chuck Norris- 1980

Mom and Dad’s 2nd date

December 1980

I was pleasantly surprised today to open my mail and find these pictures and this letter from Grandma Douglas.  It was so neat to see these as most of them are pictures that I have never seen.  Here is what Grandma wrote.

Here are some pictures I found that I thought were kind of special.  The one of Pam as a baby was in Grandpa Dick’s scrapbook, and there are more of all ages if you need them.  Enclosed is one of her at age 6 with her Dad, and then the one of her with him when she got married.  It was hard to find pictures of just the two of them together.

The one of Dawn and Pam with Chuck Norris was taken at his house in Rolling Hills, CA in 1980.  Pam had great legs, didn’t she?  Pam and David went with us to the lake one time when we took Chuck out.  I like the picture of Pam with her back to the camera…I think it is sexy!  She is taking a picture of Chuck skiing.  When Dick was Secretary/Treasurer of Chuck’s UFAF organization, Pam was very instrumental in doing a lot of the paperwork and organizing the conventions.  Even though we were no longer with Chuck at the time of Pam’s passing, he was very saddened and sent beautiful flowers.

Then I found that cute picture of Pam in earlier years out at the lake.

The one of the four siblings was taken at David’s wedding reception and is probably the last picture I have of Pam.  What beautiful children!!

Love, Grandma

Grandma, thank you so much! 

And mom was indeed known for those legs of hers.  Her friends still talk about them.

Remembrance- Karma Earl

Karma was one of mom’s friends who was in her book club.  Incidentally, she is also Lori Nelson’s sister.  This is what she remembers about mom:

The night I remember most was when we read,”Bridges of Madison County”.  We were sitting there discussing the book and your Dad came in imitating the main character of the book with Camera’s around his neck.  He said he was looking at Fridges of Clark County.  It was so funny we all laughed till we cried.  You will have to ask your Dad but I remember They were so unique because they were savvy enough to email eachother back then. 
Your Mom always had am impish smile and a laugh.  What a gift.
Sincerely, Karma Earl

I think it’s funny she mentions the emailing too because I remember mom was so excited about email.  Then she would get all bummed or upset when she’d get on AOL and find that she didn’t have any new mail.  She said it made her feel important or something.  She’d bug me about it and as a result she and I emailed each other regularly.  Can I blame her for my own obsession with checking my email then?

Remembrance- Annette Earl

Thanks so much Annette for sending this memory of mom.  I especially appreciate it because it is so me.   I am not a good housekeeper by any means and I feel the same way about having a friend over- just sit and be my friend.  In fact, it’s one of the few things I feel pretty strongly about and I see it also in my simply sitting and visiting when at other friends or families homes.  It’s nice to put a background to it.  I remember you picking at that fern and it making her so mad but eventually I think she picked at it just as much.  I know I would.  Oh, and those pigs… I asked her about that once.  How could someone love pigs?  She claimed she didn’t really.  That it started as a passing comment or joke or something and just sort of spiraled out of control and people just wouldn’t stop giving them to her.  I had to laugh at that.

I loved your mom. I still do. She used to make me laugh so much. We’d get together and start talking and all of a sudden she’d start laughing about something and her laugh was so honest and so deep it would make me feel so good.

She was not a good house keeper, but when she needed to she would clean up and she was a great hostess. She was a good cook and made everyone feel comfortable. She used to get mad at me because I’d come in and take the dead leaves off that big fern of hers in the living room or I’d ask if I could put away something in the kitchen. She’d tell me to leave her fern alone, quit putting stuff away and just be her friend.

She was a good mother. She loved her kids so much and wanted to be there for them. She really wanted to be involved in their lives.

She loved her pigs, they were everywhere. People knew she loved pigs and were always giving her them. After that I never told people I collect unicorns because I didn’t want 10,000 unicorns.

I’ll never forget the hike we took to Havasupai with the Nelsons. That dang knee of hers’ gave her fits and Dave had to carry her pack, but she was a trooper. I thought she might have to ride a horse out but she made it the whole way and it is a hard hike. It’s about 22 miles. We stayed at hotel near the top after we finished the hike. She went in the bathroom that night and let out this blood curdling scream. We came running only to find her doubled over in pain from laughing over the size of Lori Nelson’s bra. I think she put it on her head. She said she’d never seen anything like that. I loved being her friend and I still consider her my friend. She’s just moved away for a while. Love, Annette

What happened

The short story, in Jimmy’s words.  Written for an English assignment:

I awoke from a midday nap very alert, an unusual occurrence for me.  Walking downstairs toward the kitchen for a snack, I smelled the sharp bite of ammonia.  The house was silent as I rounded the corner to see my mother lying on the cold tile, gasping for air.  A mop and bucket were beside her, the obvious source of the strong smell.  The fumes must have been overpowering, and my immediate thought was to open the two nearby windows.  Moving quickly, I felt very lucky to have had first aid training in Boy Scouts, and remembered that the first thing to do is keep calm.  I grabbed the phone from above the mop bucket, and dialed 911, turning my attention to doing what I could for her.  As I gently rolled my mom onto her back, I realized this was more than a simple breathing problem.  Her eyes were rolling backward, and she was convulsing slightly.  Just then I heard the front door open around the corner.  Two of my younger siblings were just getting home from school.  “Michael, take Jill and run and get the neighbors!” I relayed to my brother.  He took one wide-eyed look at mom on the floor and dashed back out the door to the next house.  When the ambulance arrived, the woman on the phone said “You did a good job.”, and left me to go with the EMT crew.  The ambulance driver echoed the words of the 911 operator and assured me I had done exactly what I should have done.  Riding in silence to the hospital, I continually looked backward to check on mom’s condition.  The shock of the situation still hadn’t set in.  The rest of the evening was a blur as the family waited for word from the doctors.  Eventually, my dad sent all of the kids home to try and get some sleep, including myself.  As soon as I hit the pillow, the flood-gates opened and the emotions of the day flushed out of me.  I didn’t sleep at all, lying face down in my bed.  I cried and I prayed, knowing that my life may never be the same.  It wasn’t long after that my father called to let us know she hadn’t made it through the night.

10 years ago

Miss You

I should put up a cleaner picture but all the other ones have my kids in it as well.  Thinking about you today mom.  Ten years sounds like so long ago.  Sometimes it feels like an eternity has passed already.  Sometimes it seems like just yesterday.

Here is what I wrote last year about that day.

Remembrance- Columbine

When the shootings at Columbine happened the whole nation was shocked.  I found myself especially so, since I had a friend attending the school.  Mom was volunteering with TIP (Trauma Intervention Program) at the time.  Mom always seemed every bit as concerned and involved with my friends as I was but her training provided her a special ability for being there for my friend. 

Diana writes: “I still remember talking to her after the shootings at Columbine.  She was so sweet and offered me such comforting words”

Remembrance- Connie (Fullmer)

Heather-
I remember your mom always having something fun up her
sleeve…whether you were having a slumber party, playing some game, swimming in your backyard, or going to Disneyland.  I was never bored at your house.  The effort involved in planning, packing, and getting permissions didn’t seem to deter her from a good time.  I have to say my favorite memory is when she took you, Billy, Kevan, and I to Disneyland after graduation.  It was so cool how she was able to set boundaries but allow for fun.  She also was the type of person you felt you could open up to or ask questions to without having to worry about being judged or talked about…you have that quality too!

Connie was one of mom’s favorite friends of mine.  She thought I should spend more time with her because she was a good influence. =)  I think she knew that Connie liked the homemaking type stuff that I wasn’t interested in at the time and hoped that I would pick up on it.  I wish I had!  For our graduation, mom and Miesha Lehr took Connie and I (along with our boyfriends) to Disneyland.  I thought I was old enough to go on my own but I didn’t mind the time with her either.  She was good about giving us our space too although I’m sure it was really hard for her.